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Meanwhile, In an Alternate Universe… March 5, 2009

Posted by CapitalSpirit in Uncategorized.

(Readers: I’m a horrible satirist, but I thought this was worth a half-baked attempt at it. Be gentle.–CS)

You really have to wonder what George McPhee was thinking. Why the heck did he stand pat at the deadline?

I mean, really, the Caps have been totally stinking up the joint this year. They’ve been playing so badly that Verizon Center is half-empty most nights. I heard rumors that the Caps were going to steal a page from the Orioles and give away birth month tickets next year.

And have you heard about season ticket sales? It’s a joke: the Caps are spending obscene amounts of money advertising season tickets, and nobody’s buying.

Did McPhee totally miss the sea of black and gold the last time the Penguins came here? Hello? But what do you expect, when the Pens have beaten us three straight this year and are going for the season sweep this Sunday?

We’ve been under .500 every month so far this season. We have yet to spend a month playing above break-even hockey, and it’s March, for crying out loud.

We also can’t put the biscuit in the basket to save our lives. We’re only three goals away from having the fewest goals-for in the entire Eastern Conference.

Our best defenseman currently on the roster is a +1, our worst, a godawful -20. Nobody on this blue line is even going to get a sniff at the Norris.

Remember the All-Star game? We got our one player, and that was because we had to have SOMEBODY on there. It’s safe to say that nobody from the Caps got snubbed this year, that’s for sure.

How do you stand pat when you’re last in your division by double digits? Would somebody please explain this to me?

Just because you embarass two teams just before the deadline is no excuse at all to stand pat. Memo to GMGM: two rollicking romps just before the deadline doesn’t mean we’re suddenly a good team.

I could go on, but you get the idea. This team has been so bad, for so long, that standing pat should not have even been on the table. Overpay if you must, George, but at least do SOMETHING, for crying out loud.

Oh, well. This team is done. Stick a fork in the Caps, and book your April 12th tee time.




1. jf1 - March 7, 2009

I like, funny. I agree. Hard to be super grumpy, when we have had such fun this year! btw You stood right next to me at warm ups the other night, I still did not say hi, so when you hear a scream Hi its Jen, its me giving you props! Rock the red, and yes add the wisk broom to bring on Sunday! I agree Karma = sweep!

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