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Beneath the Cloak: Twice Burdened November 28, 2008

Posted by CapitalSpirit in Uncategorized.

In May of 2005, I attended a seminar by The Reconnection, a system of alternative healing. There’s a link to them under “Other Sites of Interest”, but nobody ever clicks it. It got brought up on the Capitals message boards, and naturally, the skeptics had their usual field day with the whole thing. Given the general nastiness of the boards, I expected no less, and the boards didn’t disappoint.

Having skills in alternative healing can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it’s truly a blessing to be able to bring Light into people’s lives. But if you’re like me and have a bit of a save-the-world complex, it can be somewhat of a burden. One reason I’ve pretty much beaten my news addiction was that I kept seeing so much suffering, and, in 10 of Wands fashion, kept taking all those burdens on myself. Not long after the seminar, I very seriously kicked around the idea of picking up an emergency scanner–police, fire, EMS–so I could monitor the emergency frequencies and send healing to those that needed it. I haven’t written that idea off completely, but the $500 price tag on a good trunking scanner is a bit of a disincentive on that idea.

I lost my father to cancer last year, and it took me several months–and a lot of talkings-to by several senior angels–to allay my guilt. That I had done all I could, that it had been of some benefit, that no one lives forever, that it really had been Dad’s time–you know, the basic stuff–I would hear none of it. All that mattered to me was the result. I couldn’t save my own father–how good a healer could I possibly be? After a couple of months of going back and forth with more familiar angels, Azrael finally showed up.

Azrael is the angel of death, and I’d done my best to stay out of his way. Same reason most people have, I should think: they think meeting him means it’s time to go, and that he’s really, really scary. (Grim Reaper sterotype, etc.) Well, I’m still here, for one thing, and as it turns out, Azrael is one of the gentlest angels I’ve ever worked with. He let me know, gently but firmly, that Dad left at the right time, and that that was not a failure of healing. If anything, it was for the best: Dad’s now healthy, happy, and full of life, and not wasting away in a hospital bed. It was an emotional conversation, but it set me straight about my father’s passing.

But some people never learn, and last time I looked, I am part of the group “some people.” Right now, there are about half a dozen Capitals on the shelf with various injuries, and, once again, I’m blaming myself. Why? Well, for one thing, it would be very, very easy for me to send healing energy to the Caps as a team, even without being present. I know how to do distance healings, and it would be very easy for me to do a distance session that’s intended for the entire team. So it wouldn’t be complicated or burdensome: if anything, it would benefit me, as well. But I’m not about to do this against the team’s wishes, and I hesitate to ask. I know I’m welcome as a fan, but as a healer? Even at a distance? I doubt it.

So I keep watching the Caps play, and playing well despite the injuries. And I know quite well that, even if I did do distance sessions for the team as a whole, that it wouldn’t necessarily bring anyone back any sooner. But, as a healer, I still wonder sometimes what would happen if I did do distance work for the team. So, there’s that. Then there’s this: with all the Caps have given me in these last three years and change, I want to do all I can to help.

Maybe it won’t make any difference to the team’s health. That’s fine. At least I’ll have done what I could. But not doing anything, even when perhaps I could, is troubling.

With all the injuries the Caps have right now, I’m twice burdened–both as a fan, and as a healer. Maybe I could make a difference; maybe I can’t. But right now, I don’t even dare to try, because I’m not sure it would be accepted, and I don’t even have the courage to ask. The best I can do is what I’m doing right now. And yet, I still wish that I could do more.




1. jf1 - November 29, 2008

would it help you if another fan emailed Ted and asked, if your healing would be welcomed???? As a fan and a person who hates wasting lifes chances, I say you ask, or let someone ask for you, and heal away…good deeds are usually welcomed.

2. CapitalSpirit - November 29, 2008

jf, I appreciate the encouragement.

Thing is, I was STARTING to ask Ted about this in an unrelated email earlier this week. But it just wasn’t working–no matter what I typed, it just felt wrong. I think I ended up going through a dozen different drafts and spending literally a couple of hours working on one measly paragraph, only to scrap the whole thing. Literally nothing I typed seemed right.

I wish I could ask, and I know I probably should. I just don’t want to do it the wrong way, if that makes any sense at all. Again, I know the Caps welcome me as a fan, but as a healer, I’m not so sure.

I mean, really, if I’m in Ted’s shoes, I’d probably think a few more times than twice about accepting “healing energy” from a guy who comes to hockey games in a cloak. Objectively, how ridiculous does that sound?

I mean, it is the world *I* know, but I know that not everyone sees things the same way I do. And I’ll freely admit, I have my insecurities. It’s like that song by the Goo Goo Dolls–and I don’t want the world to see me, ’cause I don’t think that they’d understand.

I don’t know–maybe the answer is that I just don’t feel worthy enough to ask.–CS

3. jf1 - November 29, 2008

So then I am left to wonder maybe this is path for you, your feelings are more for you to work through, not the pain of worring about being welcomed, but continue the postitive thoughts. If you never found the words for Ted, you were stopped for a deeper reason I do believe. Postitve is wonderful, even in your cloak! (send secret healing to our CAPS!) 🙂

4. Energy Healing - December 1, 2008

Hello Beloved One,

As an Energy Healer myself, if one is sending love and healing energy out to someone, no permission is needed as healing energy goes where it is needed, so just don’t label certain players, just bathe the enrtire team with healing energy for their highest good. Are you attuned to the Blue Star Healing Energy? It is Conscious Energy and goes where needed and it is not your own energy so there is no eneergy loss of feeling of tired after. I facilitate the Blue Star Energy Activations. You can read more at the link in my sig file.

Send love and healing whenever you are guided from within. You can’t get it wrong when you invoke the highest good of all concerned.

Love and Light

5. carri m. - December 1, 2008

I am very sorry that I never did send my condolences when your dad died. I know it was probably very hard to watch him go. I know from experience (many times) how hard it is to loose some one special. I experienced the loss of a very good friend and her daughter last summer, in a very tragic car accident, but her loving and energetic spirit is always near. pushing me to do what I can. It was because of her that I became a nurse. she was not with us here on earth long enough to know I got accepted into nursing school, but she was always with me in spirit pushing me to succeed in life, just as your father is doing now and always with you. I did not know your father very well, but I did like him. you were truly blessed to have such a wonderful dad. even though he is not physically with you, he will always be with you. I don’t know if that makes sense to you, but I hope that you know what I am trying to say.
God Bless You!!!
your cuz,

6. CapitalSpirit - December 2, 2008

Thank you all for the comments.

I spoke with a couple of Caps employees before tonight’s loss to the Panthers, and gave one a quick demonstration of the reality of this. After the game was over, I talked with them again, and they both encouraged me to proceed.

Their reasoning was that if it can’t possibly harm anyone–which it can’t–and if it could bring some players back sooner–no promises, but it could–then why NOT use it? There’s absolutely nothing to lose here, and perhaps some healing to be gained.

I won’t name names–I don’t want anyone getting in trouble–but I will take that as a go-ahead. I will send whatever energy I can, as and when I can, and perhaps we’ll see some players back a little sooner.

I can’t make any guarantees, but at this point, the injuries are mounting, and the Caps may not be very consistent with what they have. So there really is nothing left to lose at this point. So let’s do it.–CS

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