Capital Spirit

Took a month off from doing this last month, not that anyone evidently noticed or cared. But if I want to be back on point for the playoffs, I think I’d better get some practice in now.

However, I do have a few things to catch up on this evening. I’ll come back and interpret this a bit later if there’s any interest. For now, let me just give the cards and their positions:

Basis: King of Chalices reversed
Crossing: 6 of Swords
Distant Past: Empress reversed
Recent Past: 3 of Swords
General Direction: Knave of Pentacles
Immediate Future: The Fool
Team: 2 of Pentacles
Outside Influences: Ace of Swords reversed
Hopes and Fears: Queen of Wands
Outcome: Queen of Chalices reversed

Quick impressions before I tend to other matters: A lot of court cards, so this is going to be a month that ends up turning around a few key players. Predictive spots don’t look bad at all. That reversed Ace of Swords is a concern, but that’s the only real worry in any of the present or future positions. Looks like a fairly good-quiet month ahead.

I’ll come back to this and give a more detailed breakdown if anybody wants to read it. Let me know in the Comments section of this post, and I’ll give a full write-up when I have time for it. But I’m not going to spend hours and hours interpreting this and typing up the results if nobody wants to read it. It generally looks OK–no major bad news to warn about, but then, no major good news to herald. The general impression I’m getting is “another notch in the gun belt”, and given how the Caps have been playing this season, that suits me just fine.

CAPITAL SPIRIT
BUSY TONIGHT…

The past several days have been absolutely bonkers for me, and I think a few explanations are owing.

Sunday was all Caps, all day–up early, get dressed, Phone Booth at 11:30, thrilling Caps win, spend rest of day celebrating. Good times.

Monday, I was a nervous wreck all day–I was absolutely petrified waiting for 9:30 PM and my segment on Red Line Monday. Fortunately, the finished segment came out better than I ever would have hoped. They did such a bang-up job with it that I came about this close to actually liking myself. More on that further down, but for now, here is the finished segment. I’m actually impressed that I didn’t make a complete and total fool of myself.

Tuesday was nasty-gram day, as a lot of you have seen, and some have responded to (and thanks to all of you who offered encouragement.) After getting home late and setting a personal record for changing into my gear–I was in and out of my apartment in under fifteen minutes, I think–I got to scamper downtown and watch in utter chagrin as the Caps gave away the game, 4-2. A lot of people saw me on the concourse and congratulated me on a segment well-done, and that was appreciated. But seeing the Caps give up three late ones to, of all teams, the Flyers, was heartbreaking. On balance, it was a terrible, awful, no-good, very bad day.

Today was a crazy one at the office, but nobody’s going to care too much about that (not that I can discuss it if anyone actually did.) The encouragement you guys gave me was much-needed, and I appreciated it.

Did I overreact? Probably, but there was more going on than I wrote about yesterday.

I watched Ted’s turn on My Life 365 over the weekend, and hearing him talk about the plane crash he was in struck a very big chord.

I was confronted with my own mortality at the ripe old age of 11. I was with my Boy Scout troop, cross-country skiing near the inter-German border. I got lost, and I was sure I was going to freeze to death in the middle of nowhere. Unlike Ted, I made no grand bargain with God. I asked Him how badly it hurt to freeze to death, and could he please make an exception for an 11-year-old?

Long story short, I obviously got rescued (duh). But it took me about a full decade to finally realize that my rescuer hadn’t been human. I’m pretty sure I know exactly which angel it was, and I know he doesn’t want to get name-dropped here.

But that’s the sort of thing you can’t just know, and then ignore. It changes you. Forget Why was I put on this earth–my life-question right now is, Why was I given that second chance? More importantly, Am I really doing enough with it? I don’t want to be disappointing God Himself, you know?

Anyway, after seeing Ted on My Life 365, I started ruminating on some of the Really Big Questions. Will I really leave the world a better place than I found it? Will anyone’s life have been better for knowing me? Have I really given anything important to anything worthwhile?

One of the biggest problems I have is that nothing I ever do is good enough to please me. I’m never satisfied with anything I do. I am my own harshest critic, and my standards for myself are demanding–perhaps, I concede, too much so.

So, when I got trolled yesterday, I was right in the middle of struggling with a lot of Really Big Questions. I think it’s fair to say that I wasn’t exactly at my mental and spiritual best, and I let an easy shot get by–something Jose Theodore would be able to relate to later that night, I’m sure.

But that’s the sort of thing you have to forget. Tomorrow is another game (in more ways than one). What’s important is not the one game you lose–it’s the losing streak you stave off by doing a better job next time.

As usual, I’ll be at the Phone Booth tomorrow night. If you see me, a few words of encouragement would be very much appreciated. It’s been a crazy week, and it’s not even Thursday yet.

CAPITAL SPIRIT
OLDER AND WISER

Got the following comment on another post. I’m not going to approve it and give this joker the run of the house, but I think my readers do need to see it. THIS is the kind of crap I have to put up with, folks. The below is reprinted without any edits whatsoever.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?? Did you eat freakin paint chips as a kid? I am THE BIGGEST CAPS FAN EVER and you make all the CAPS fans look like f**kin idiots!! Do us all a favor, put the light sticks and cape away, get outside of MOMMYS house, go downtown and buy your very first piece of ass, and SHUT THE F**K UP! No one ever says anything to you because they think you are f**king retarded, and no one wants to make fun of window lickin’ helmet wearing drool monkeys. But I have had enough of this BS. Everyone may say I’m an asshole but deep down they all know that I am right. Hey you could even get with one of those other retarded looking CAPS fan girls like the girl who wrote the post above!! Y O U F A I L ! !

It speaks for itself, I think.

CAPITAL SPIRIT
INSULTED

Good game yesterday, but when Mike Vogel is questionnig the refs in his write-up, you know it’s bad. If it got any worse, we would have seen this in the press:

“Sidney Crosby took an ax,
And gave Ovechkin forty whacks.
Once the refs had seen him through,
They didn’t even give him two.”

REFS=EPIC FAIL. That is all.

I’m going to be featured on Capitals Red Line Monday this coming Monday, the 23rd, at 9:30 Eastern on Comcast Sports Net. The Caps’ press release about the show is here. Did I really just read that they called me “one of the most distinctive fans at Verizon Center”?

Also, after this week’s episode, the Caps’ website had a poll about what their favorite segment was on the show. I assume they’re going to do that again next week, and if they do, I’m going to take the opportunity right now to stuff the ballot box in advance. Will the readers of my blog please vote for me?

Unrelated, but worth a quick mention. Carolina just defeated the Islanders earlier tonight. If my math is right, that puts the Islanders’ top-end score in a dead heat with Boston’s current point total. I won’t be updating the table tomorrow night–Caps are hosting the ‘Lanche, and I’ll be there as always–but by the time I update on Saturday, we might have a couple of C’s and E’s to talk about.

I did note that others have said it’s not much fun seeing the Caps double digits away from even being assured of 14th place. True enough, but don’t forget, that number changes either when the Caps win, or when their standings opponent loses. So the Islanders’ loss tonight is going to bring the Caps pretty darn close to single digits. Also, Colorado isn’t exactly the best of the West–they’re in 14th right now, I think–so if the Caps win, that’s 2 more. And from there, look at the bottom of the Eastern standings: the next four or five teams are very close together, and a lot of them are having trouble winning games. So the Caps could go from 14th up to 11th in a hurry, especially as they have a 4-pointer against the Thrashers a week from tonight. Of course, by then the Caps may already have locked the Thrashers out of 1st in the Southeast. We’ll see–there’s a lot of hockey to play between now and next Thursday. And for the Caps, all of it is at home! Good times!

Anyway, check out the press release on the Caps’ website, and if they put a poll up after the show, VOTE FOR ME!

CAPITAL SPIRIT
NEVER MISS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION

Today is the day when we’re reminded by the calendar–and, I suppose, Hallmark et al–to express our affection for those we love. I could, I suppose, remark that it shouldn’t take a holiday to express your love, but that would just be too snarky to make a decent essay out of.

Rather, I’m going to take a look at unconditional love, by way of discussing my favorite hockey team, the Capitals.

Let me start by saying that it’s been great to be a part of some raucous home crowds at Caps games this year. We may very well sell out the entire rest of the year in short order, and season tickets for next year are in enough demand that there have been whispers of a waiting list in some quarters.

And yet, only a few short years ago, I could walk up to the box office at Verizon Center on game night, and pretty much pick my seat. Those days are long past–more fans are coming out to games, the building is rocking like nobody’s business, and the players are feeding off of us fans and sporting one of the best home records in the NHL.

It’s the old saw about nothing sells a team like winning, and that’s just the nature of the sports business. Spiritually, though, it’s not the highest form of love.

Being a fan of a winning team only because they are winning is like saying, “I love you IF.” As in, “If you guys win, then I love you.” Again, from the standpoint of sports, that’s just the nature of the business, and I doubt that it’s ever going to change. But viewed from the lens of Spirit, it’s not the best way to love someone or something. If you do (blank), then I love you, is as conditional as love gets. It’s a direct condition: the “beloved” must do something specific to receive love. Try telling that lovely stranger in the bar that you love them if, say, they buy you an expensive drink, and see how long that relationship lasts.

“I love you IF” is not love. It is using the idea of love as a bargaining chip. How then can this be love? Love must not be only IF someone does something specific. In sports, there is rightfully a predisposition against “bandwagon fans”–fans who only root for teams when they’re good. Simply loving a team IF it wins, and not loving it when it loses–as all teams eventually do–isn’t love. I know that sounds harsh, but keep reading.

Then there’s “I love you BECAUSE.” “I love the Caps because they’re so exciting to watch.” “I love the Caps because they have one of the best players in the game.” “I love the Caps because it’s so much fun to watch them play live.”

“I love you because” is also conditional love. It qualifies love based on some condition which may not always be true. What, then, happens to that love when that condition no longer is true?

In sports, NOTHING is sacred and unchanging. Fan favorites sometimes leave: even a Washington institution like Olie Kolzig somehow found his way to greener pastures. Styles of play can change; uniforms get redesigned; the game night experience is constantly in flux. No team can or will always be able to keep “I love you <because” fans happy. The only immutable thing in sports is its very mutability. Thus, when fans say, “I love this team because…”, they are making an indirect condition.

What, then, happens when that condition is no longer true? Will fans of the Capitals lose interest in the team when time catches up with Alex Ovechkin? Would fans of the Capitals continue to support the team if the coaching staff decided to play a neutral zone trap? Were there any fans who loved the Caps because they didn’t have a pep squad, who have since abandoned the team? I don’t know, I’m just asking.

“I love you because” is also conditional love. And it may perhaps be the more pernicious kind of conditional love. “I love you if” is easy to see for what it is: a precondition on love that probably won’t be worth much. “I love you because“, on the other hand, starts out by saying that yes, you have my love for now, but you’ll lose it when the “because” is no longer true. Is this really any different from “I love you if“?

The highest love, then, is love without conditions. It’s “I love you, period.” It’s loving your team win or lose. No, you don’t like to see them lose: if anything, the losses hurt you that much more, because you care about your team so much. But win or lose, Stanley Cup or lottery pick, you’re still going to support your team, because you know that this is the team that you love–period, full stop, end of sentence.

So while I welcome the sellout crowds at Verizon Center, while I welcome the active online presence of Caps fans, and while I welcome all the new fans that have discovered our team, my prayer for all our recent “converts” is that they will learn to love this team unconditionally. Don’t love the Caps IF they win; don’t love the Caps BECAUSE they have great players. Just love the Caps, period.

Have a good Valentine’s Day, everyone, and don’t forget to do something special today for that someone special.

CAPITAL SPIRIT
I LOVE THIS TEAM

Random thought: is there such a thing as too much success?

One thing I try to keep in mind when I’m trying something again is, “Better to try, and fail, and try again, than to always succeed every time.” I’m not sure if that’s an accurate state of things, or just my way of justifying my own inadequacies. Regardless, I think there is some truth in there, even if only partially so.

Too much success, I think, has a way of dulling you to the point where you aren’t prepared when larger challenges come your way. But when you fail, and you experience firsthand just how bad failure–for lack of a more polite word–sucks, you don’t want to go back there. You do all you can to avoid failure once you’ve tasted how bitter it is.

In my own personal life, I slid through high school, and enlisted in the Navy because I knew I wasn’t ready for college. My Navy career didn’t go at all as I’d hoped it would, to put it mildly. Yet, out of that failure, I became a better person. I went from C’s and D’s in high school to an unsolicited academic scholarship when I applied as a transfer student to Towson University. I went on to graduate from Towson summa cum laude–something that would have been inconceivable if I’d gone straight to college without being a failure as a sailor. Even knowing what I know now, I’d still volunteer for the Navy all over again–even if I ended up being told, in essence, that my services weren’t needed by the Nation I still love so much.

If you want a hockey example of what happens when you’re too successful, look at the Pittsburgh Penguins last year. They were the golden boys, the beasts of the east, who could do no wrong at all in the Eastern Conference playoffs. Meanwhile, out in the West, Detroit was fighting, and scratching, and clawing for every single win just to get to the Stanley Cup Finals. In the end, a momentary lapse by Marc-Andre Fleury proved to be the nail in the coffin for Pittsburgh. Fleury lost track of the puck, fell backwards, and knocked the biscuit into his own basket with his backside. If that happens in December, that’s one for the blooper reels that you forget about by January. It’s an awful way to lose the Stanley Cup Finals, particularly in front of your own fans.

But such was Pittsburgh’s success in the first three rounds: a momentary lapse here or there, no big deal, we can recover. Detroit, on the other hand, knew that there was no room for mistakes. None. Even the Nashville Predators were giving the Wings fits some nights in the first round of the 2008 playoffs. The Penguins were, for the most part, cruising down the open road; Detroit was taking a couple of detours along the way. The Wings had tried, failed, and tried again, and had somehow survived the West to make the Stanley Cup Finals. The Penguins, meanwhile, had won the Eastern Conference with barely a nick in their armor. I’m probably not the first to suggest that the biggest victim of the Pittsburgh Penguins’ success last year was none other than the Pittsburgh Penguins.

And it hasn’t carried over to this season, to put it mildly. The Pens are currently mired in 4th in the Atlantic headed into tonight’s games, and may even be out of the playoffs if their lot doesn’t improve fairly soon. How heartbreaking it may yet be for hockey fans in Pittsburgh, should their team go from hockey in June 2008 to golf in April 2009.

The Caps fan in me would sadistically love to see some of our history rub off on the Penguins: recall that we haven’t won a playoff series since our Stanley Cup Finals loss. Yet, it would be a tragedy indeed if the Penguins ended up having become so successful that they end up failing as a result of their success. No team gets Caps fans more riled up than the Penguins, and a successful, vibrant, and challenging team in Pittsburgh gives the Caps a ready-made antagonist in the story of their season. Winning against the Pens wouldn’t feel as special if the Pens just weren’t very good to begin with.

So even though I wouldn’t be too sad to see the Penguins come down a peg, I still wouldn’t be very happy to see the Penguins become a second-rate team. Every good sports team needs a good archrival, one the fans love to hate. And for me, it’s hard to hate a team that’s just not very good. So, strange as it sounds, this Caps fan actually hopes the Pens can stay competitive, because it would make our wins mean that much more.

As for the Capitals, they’ve been playing well against some very good teams, and not so well against some mediocre teams. What absolutely terrifies me, looking at the rest of the schedule, is the last month of the season. We’re going to be going from games at Boston, versus Pittsburgh (twice), and two more against the Flyers, to a month against…the Maple Leafs, Islanders, and a LOT of games against the Thrashers and Lightning. On paper, that looks like much easier competition, which is not the way I’d prefer to see the Caps warming up for (yes, I’ll say it, as a form of intention) the playoffs. I’m worried that we’ll spend a month playing down to the Thrashers, and will get another nasty surprise come playoff time. On the other skate, perhaps the Thrashers and Lightning will relish their spoiler roles, and do all they can to take us down, providing healthy competition along the way. It’s too early to tell, but regardless, I am concerned that the Caps may end up so successful in the regular season, that they end up failing in the playoffs.

It’s been said that nothing teaches success like failure; but the reverse may also be true. Perhaps nothing teaches failure like success. The Penguins found out too late last season that too much winning can leave you ill prepared for a more tested opponent. I hope and pray that the Capitals won’t have to learn that same hard lesson firsthand.

CAPITAL SPIRIT
SUCCESS, NOT JUST WINS

I’ve been getting a few more hits than usual on the Magic Numbers page, and I’ve fielded a couple of private questions about where I’m getting the numbers from. Here’s how I do it, and why I have the numbers that I do.

There are two numbers for every team that you need in order to figure out what the magic numbers are: the number of points they currently have, and the maximum possible points that they could theoretically attain, were they to win every remaining game.

Yes, I know, no hockey team runs the table. Yes, I know, for every winner, there must be a loser. And yes, the idea that the Islanders will go anywhere near .500 the rest of the way, let alone win out, is strictly theoretical. Nevertheless, if you’re dealing in clinching/elimination math, you do have to make some theoretical assumptions so that you can simplify the number-crunching.

To get a team’s maximum possible points–I use the phrase “top-end” to save keystrokes, and because it doesn’t sound so nerdy–you take the number of games remaining on their schedule, double it (2 points for a win), and add it to their current points. That’s it. That number is the maximum number of points possible for that team, assuming it runs the table.

OK, so what happens when they lose? Their current points obviously don’t go up, but the top-end comes DOWN by two. For an overtime or shootout loss, Current Points go UP by one, top-end comes DOWN by one, and the magic number always comes down by one.

To get the magic number itself, you subtract the higher team’s current points from the lower team’s top-end score. To add mathematical certainty, and not have to worry about tie breaks, I always add 1 to the result.

Teams in the middle actually have two magic numbers, one for clinching, one for elimination. Right now, the West is so tightly contested that only a handful of teams are within sight of clinching even a Top 14 spot in the conference. That’s why you see most of the West as closer to being eliminated from President’s Trophy consideration: they are just too close to the other teams in the West to clinch anything, and lagging too far behind Boston to keep up in the President’s Trophy chase.

The East, on the other hand, is more cut and dried: Boston can’t seem to lose, and the Islanders and Thrashers can’t seem to win. So as of this morning, the Bruins are a baker’s dozen away from their first mathematical clinching.

One note on style before it gets too close: for the “1P” C’s and E’s, I will be using negative numbers for clinching, and positive ones for elimination. Being assured of not picking first is a “positive” event, and being assured of a shot at the top spot is a “negative” one, so I’ll “sign” that particular item accordingly.

Also, I’m going to tinker with colored text on the table, and see if I can color “good” events green, and “bad” events red, without making the whole thing look ugly. No promises, but I’ll at least try it out in Preview mode before I decide whether or not to go through with it.

Kids, this is why you need to stay awake in math class…

CAPITAL SPIRIT
NUMBERS FREAK

The guys over at DC Pro Sports Report were recently reviewing a whole bunch of Capitals blogs. They must have had a whole lot of time to kill while doing that project, because they actually read my blog in the process. Gave me a very complimentary review, too, and openly asked for a link exchange.

I beg your pardon, guys? You seriously think that just because you give me a good rating, say some awfully kind things, and ask for a link exchange, that I’ll just up and add you to the blogroll? You think flattery is enough to get you a link from me?

If that’s what you think…

…you would be correct. ;D

Just giving you guys a hard time…you know that, right? Thank you very much for the kind words, and I appreciate the good review. If you’re ever at a Caps game, come on up to 417 and say hi.

CAPITAL SPIRIT
APPRECIATIVE

This past weekend, at another sold-out game that was ridiculously exciting, there was a guy in the crowd trying to get another chant going. His horn wasn’t that loud, and it wasn’t getting much of a response. There were a couple of groans about it on the Caps message boards, some of which referenced an earlier post by “the real horn guy”, who goes by “Smileypen” on the boards. On the following, he and I can both wholeheartedly agree:

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with someone making noise. Maybe one’s attitude needs to change from a “I wish that annoying donkey would stop” to “at least that donkey is being annoying in support of the Caps.” It’s harder than I make it sound.

Fair enough. I’m all for Caps fans showing their own Capital Spirit–if you want to toot your own (literal) horn, go for it. Just be aware that if this were the piano, your rendition of “Chopsticks” would be going going up against Smiley’s rendition of “Carmen Variations.” He’s unquestionably one of the best fans in the barn, and when he’s not there, the game isn’t the same. I know that’s true in the stands, but I suspect it’s also true down on the bench. Smiley is a Verizon Center fixture, and a Caps win without him honking away feels like a one-point night sometimes.

But what puzzles me is the following unfortunate swipe:

I know that the caped wonder will tell you he “suffers for the love” but he is a wuss compared to me.

I beg your pardon?

Look, I don’t want to turn this into a feud. Not even Jay Leno could convince me that Rosie versus Donald was in any way amusing. And I have no intention of participating in anything similar myself. The Caps are having a season for the ages, there really is no animosity on my end, and hey, aren’t we supposed to be fans of, you know, the same team?

And if you think I’m not suffering for this team, that’s because I don’t typically talk about it. I don’t need to be constantly playing for sympathy: I’ve been through enough that I can handle most of this quite well, the same way you handle the physical demands of the horn. But I think I need to put this out there now, in February, so it can be long since forgotten by April.

You want suffering, Smiley? I’ll see your headaches, and I’ll raise you strangers on the Internet publicly questioning my sexuality and my mental health. I’ll see your sore diaphragm, Smiley, and I’ll raise you strangers on the street yelling stuff at me that I cannot reprint. Heck, I’ll see your chapped lips, and I’ll raise you a cyberstalker.

Have you ever been publicly named as another fan’s “#1 most hated fan” (to general piling-on, I might add)? Have you ever had a fellow Caps fan post an abusive comment on your website, then brag about it on the Capitals message boards? Have you ever gone on a road trip, in all your gear, and come back from that trip feeling, on balance, that you got more individual respect in an enemy arena than you get some nights at Verizon Center?

I’m not done.

Have you ever doubted what you bring to Caps games? Have you ever felt like your presence was causing too much disharmony among the fans, and that the Caps might be better off without the distraction you’ve become? Have you ever stared, insomnolently, at your ceiling after a Caps game, feeling like everything you did at the game that night was all for nothing? Have you ever felt so rejected by the fans of the team you have in common, that you’ve cried yourself to sleep?

Chapped lips heal; headaches and soreness recede. Self-doubt isn’t so easy to get rid of. And no matter how many people I’m around, my loneliness never goes away.

I try so, so hard to prove to the world that I’m not the loser I think the world thinks I am. The problem in doing that is that it’s contradictory. I can’t try to prove the world wrong unless, deep down, I think there might be some truth to what I think the world thinks. And the more of a loser I think I am, the more I try to prove to the world that it’s wrong, that I’m NOT the loser I think it thinks I am. But in the end, I end up proving a contradiction: I may prove to the world that it’s wrong, but only by proving to myself the world was right all along.

If I prove to the world that I’m worth something, I only prove to myself that I’m worthless. If I prove to the world that I’m lovable, I only prove to myself that I can’t be loved. If I prove to the world that I’m on the side of the Light, I only prove to myself that I wouldn’t know Light if it blinded me.

And if I prove to the world that I’m a good Caps fan, I only prove to myself that I’m just a badly-dressed fan in the nosebleeds who’s got nothing to contribute to this team.

VNV Nation did a beautiful ballad on their album Futureperfect. It’s called “Holding On,” and it pretty much sums it all up.

I thought the future held a perfect place for us;
That together we would learn to be the best that we could be.
In my naivete I ran; I fell and lost my way.
Somehow I always end up falling over me.

Then one day, I woke to find the future had no place for me.
I was unwanted in a world that with my hands I’d helped to build.
Where once was honesty and pride, I now stand broken and alone,
Just a shadow of what I was meant to be.

Does anybody feel the way I do? Is there anybody out there? Are you hearing me?
If I believe in you, will you believe in me? Or am I alone in this hall of dreams?
I believe in you, if you believe in me; but I have no trust in anything.
Somehow I’m always, always falling over me.

They say that time will heal, the truth shall set us free.
Well, that depends on what it is that you choose to believe.
In this prison made of lies, we see what it is we want to see,
And find comfort in this broken hall of dreams.

Does anybody feel the way I do? Is there anybody out there? Are you hearing me?
If I believe in you, will you believe in me? Or am I alone in this hall of dreams?
I believe in you, if you believe in me; but I have no trust in anything.
Somehow I’m always, always falling over me.

Somehow I’m always–I’m always falling over me.

Smiley, I sincerely value and appreciate what you bring to Caps games. A Caps game at Verizon Center without you rallying the fans is completely incomplete. You’ve been doing this a lot longer than I have, and you put your heart and soul into every blast of that horn. Far be it from me to EVER criticize your passion, and what you bring to Capitals home games.

But must you insult me, Smiley? Do you have to make yourself feel like more of a fan by publicly making me out to be less of one? You and I both want the exact same thing: to cheer the Capitals on to a Stanley Cup, as best we can–as only you and I can, for that matter. Why then the put-downs? Why then the rancor? Damn it, man, I’M ON YOUR SIDE!!!

I have written none of this in anger, bitterness, or resentment, and if any of it comes across that way, I sincerely apologize. If anything, I have written this in sorrow. It needs to be repeated: I’m not trying to start a feud here. If anything, I want to end it and have the hatchet buried before the playoffs get here.

Smiley, you and I each have our own way of cheering on the Caps. You may never consider me an equal, and that’s OK. I just wish you wouldn’t consider me so far beneath contempt.

Respectfully,
CAPITAL SPIRIT
I’M ALWAYS, ALWAYS FALLING OVER ME